To my firstborn, my daughter, my baby,

Some day, when you’re older, your dad and I will tell you the story of your birth. We’ll tell you all about how much you were longed for, how fervently we prayed for you, how closely we clung to each other as we spent many years dreaming of sweet little you – and how much we believed in the faithfulness of our God that He would deliver you to us.

Psalm 13, a psalm of transition, voices the process that many experience as we undergo trials and hardships in this life. As we waited for you, I found myself saying the words etched on the heart of David who came before me, crying out to God, “How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart?” You see, my little love, it took your dad and I several years to make you. Often in that time, I found myself confused and angry. I knew your soul was out there and I desperately wanted to bring it home. But, you’ll see in your own life how the God of the Universe will never hide His face from you. His timing is perfect even when we don’t understand it. His reasoning is far superior to our own. He knew exactly when to place you in my womb. When He breathed air into your lungs and gave you to us, He gave us the most pure and perfect gift – the gift of being your parents. Psalm 13 ends with David proclaiming, “I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing the Lord’s praise, for He has been good to me.”

He has been good to me. He has been good to US! His love endures forever and he will always be good to you too. I can’t wait to teach you all about the God who created little you and to nurture your heart to love Him in return and sing praises to Him.

There is so much I can’t wait to teach you. There is so much I can’t wait to watch you explore and learn. I can’t wait for you to look into your daddy’s eyes and laugh for the first time. He loves you so much, sweet girl. He talks to you every day and every night. He asks you what you’re doing in there, he reads you books and he always tells you he loves you. You will always have the big, strong arms of your daddy to hold you. He will be there for every milestone, every first, every celebration and every tear with his arms wide open and his gentle, kind eyes looking into yours as he tells you how much he loves you.

We will make sure you are always safe, secure, nurtured, comfortable, snuggled and loved to pieces. We will show you the world, give you every opportunity to learn and grow your curious little brain, and introduce you to all kinds of people, cultures and experiences. We will support you and always encourage you to embrace all of the lovely things that make you exactly who you are. There are 385,000 babies born into the world every day, but there is only one YOU. And we can’t wait to learn all of the different, unique parts of you. We will raise you to be confident in yourself, to show kindness to others, to stand up for the weak and marginalized, to speak light into darkness, to walk boldly into the unknown and conquer all of your fears. You will be so brave and strong – and if you should ever feel small and scared, we will be there to hold you, protect you, and stand you back up straighter and taller than before. This world was incomplete before you entered it. When the doctor places you in my arms, I will spend every day after that cherishing each moment I get to watch you leave your mark, making this world a better place.

I can’t wait to see your grandparents meet you. They are the people who have made my world a better place and they have walked with me down the long, weary road it took to get to you. Your grandma will read you beautiful stories and sing to you and your grandpa will make sure you break all the rules – like eating ice cream when you’re not supposed to and letting you stay up way past your bedtime while you ask him all of your important, pressing questions about the Universe. I hope you soak up all that you can from them. I hope you cling to every moment and every memory. I hope you always remember their faces and how it feels to be loved by them. And I hope with all of my heart that there will be pieces of them in you, my beautiful girl; that you will be a reflection of those who have written the history of your DNA so that you may carry all the wonderful parts of their legacy forward.

It has been the honor of my life to create your life inside of me. Every time we have heard your heartbeat has felt like a miracle. Every time you squirm, squiggle, kick, stretch and use your little fingers to tickle my belly it warms me right through to the bone. I was always meant to be your momma and you were made in Heaven to be placed in my arms specifically. I will never tire of watching you grow, my ears will never grow weary of hearing you tell me what’s on your mind, I will never be short on time for you, I will never run out of ways to make you feel special and loved. When my temper runs short and my patience wears thin, I will always make sure you know that I’m sorry for anything I do that might hurt your heart. I will wrap my love around you and heal your hurt. Whatever roads you walk that lead to disappointment, I will be there with you. Your momma is a warrior. I will fight battles with you, I will answer the call, I will slay all of your dragons and dry all of your tears.

Life is just beginning, my love. It will be full of snow cones on sunny days, puppy kisses, splashing in the ocean, donuts on Saturday mornings, cozy blankets and good books, dancing to records, slurping spaghetti, playing in the rain, drinking tea together, picking out Christmas trees with grandpa, baking cookies with grandma, learning how to ride a bike with daddy and cuddling up for classic movies with momma. All of the small moments in life will be huge with you. You are a treasure, a gift from God…you are our firstborn, our daughter, our baby.

We love you more than you will ever know.

Love,

Your Momma

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